Second Chance

Monday night/ Tuesday morning was weird. I woke up when my phone went off to find a private mail on facebook from my ex with a sad face. I asked him what was wrong but something he had misinterpreted sent him into a funny mood. After clearing up that it wasn't about him, he preceeded to tell me that he missed me, still liked me, and wanted a second chance. I agreed to speak to him face to face.

On Tuesday, speaking to one of my best friends on the bus, she said:

"I told him that I was sick of him giving you mixed signals because it wasn't fair on you. Either e wants you back or he doesn't. And he said he didn't"

This pissed me off because I wasn't sure if what he had said to me earlier was true or not. This set me in a bad mood but when we talking, I realised that maybe what she had said wasn't true. He again asked for a second chance and I told him I'd have to think about it as it wasn't fair ifhe decided in a week or two that us two being back together wasn't what he wanted. He agreed to let me have my time to think.

On Wednesday, I spoke to two of my closest mates and one of their mum's and asked whether they'd follow their head or their heart. These were my two choices:

1. Head- What he had done to me before had hurt me and there was no guarantee that he wouldn't do it again. Also, one of his mates liked me and was planning on asking if their was a chance between us. I knew he knew this aswell and part of me thought thaat the only reason he was asking was because he didn't want me to get with this guy (which I wouldn't of anyway because my feelings were still too strong for my ex) and he was jealous
2. Heart- I still liked my ex hell of alot and maybe, like my mum and himself aswell as others had said, he had made a mistake.

Apart from one person, the other two said they would choose their head as it prevented me from being hurt. But talking to Titch a little bit more, she said that she would advise me to follow my heart as she knew how much I liked him and she had spoken to him the night before and he had said he liked me. I decided to give him a second chance.

So far, things have been good between us but I'm sure there will still be things that make it awkward, like when people say "what he did to you was wrong. You cannot give him a second chance!" But it's my decision. I know that prehaps he'll hurt me again but I cannot see into the future. Wish I could. But what I want to know is this;

Would you have given him a second chance?

Anyways, I'll write again soon peeps.

Much love

Bronni <3

xxx

Hey

Hey :)

I'm Bronni and I am 17 years old. I am writing this blog, purely to find out whether it is just me that has trouble finding a boyfriend and keeping one or whether it is a common problem among teenagers.

I have been single for just over a week after being with my boyfriend for just a month. I found out over private mail of Facebook. I cannot even explain how much it hurt or how much I cried. Sounds stupid doesn't it, to cry over something that lasted just a month? But it was a number of things that made me cry:

1. It was done over Facebook rather than face to face. If it had been done face to face, I would be able to tell if it is what he wanted or whether he felt pressured to dump me. Also I would be able to tell his true feelings by looking at him; was he hurt? Did he cry? Was he upset?
2. His reason for splitting up was because we were "drifting apart" and he was "soz" about it but he wanted to stay good friends because I can "make good cups of tea. Lol". Drifting apart, maybe I could understand (even if I didn't feel it he certainly did :L) but it was more that he wasn't sorry but that he was soz.
3. I knew I was going to miss him. I mean I was definately going to miss all the cuddles and kisses and flirting and just general talking to him. It was going to be hard. Even seeing him a couple of days made me miss him and made me want to cry.

One thing I have wondered, and am wondering at this very moment if I am honest with myself, is does he miss me? Does he still just randomly want to give me a hug like before or kiss me as I leave or is he happy with the situation? It certainly seems like he doesn't. Either that or he is an extremely good actor!

Another thing is does he expect me to be ok with the situation? I mean I find it near on impossible to shove my feelings under the table, something he seems quite able to do quite easily and quickly, and pretend I was never hurt or never cried about the fact that I lost him. Either that or he doesn't think I'm going to miss him or will never have cried about him or maybe never even cared about him.

Anyways, I must stop blabbering on now and get on with some Psychology and Sociolgy "/ I will write again soon.

Na night beautiful peeps, much love <3

Bronni

xxx